Failure

i had failed in my life,
i am total failure,
i am just a piece of junk,
i am not good at anything after all,
i think i should just apply a job,
hiding behind at a dark spot,
wash dishes forever in a restaurant

i need help,
a psychiatrist perhaps,
depression is eating up my life again

i am sorry,
i just can't accept failures

Swizzle Please Come Back!

today, when i browsed through my facebook,
i saw my friend posted 'HELP! MISSING DOG!',
i could not believe it, thinking it was a joke,
later on, seeing all the posts he posted on the wall,
my heart immediately shattered,
i almost break down to tears to know that,
little Swizzle is indeed missing...

i get to know that she might had sneaked out,
when this auto gate repairmen was fixing the gate,
and his mom forget to tie Swizzle up,
the repairmen claimed to never see the dog before,
and my friend totally went berserk

he drove around his housing area,
went to taman megah,
this went for almost 2 hours,
and still no sign of Swizzle,
what worse was that,
it was raining heavily outside

i love that dog so much,
i treated her like my own,
she is so active and adorable,
every time i go to my friend's house,
i always love to play with her

i remembered the last time i saw her,
taking her poser pictures,
she came to be and manja me like a baby,
lying comfortable on my thighs,
licking all around my body and face,
but now, she's gone...
no no no! she will be found! she is not yet gone!

i pray hard and hope that she will find he way back,
pray that she never get in dangerous situation,
pray that she will return to the owner by someone kind

Swizzle, where are you?
please please come back!
God, please help Swizzle to return :'(

I Dislike You

i dislike people,
those people who think they are always right,
which in fact, in reality or common sense, they are wrong,
what worse is that, they always have 2 calculations in them:

wrong + thinking they are right = it's right
wrong + knowing they are wrong = it's still right

i also dislike people,
who always want it with their only way,
as if there's no other better way than theirs,
if we don't follow, they hope and curse you to death,
all their mind is just ME ME ME

these kind of people will not give up,
if they still can't manage to convince you,
they will try to bring the whole world down to you,
cause chaos sufferings and humiliation to your life,
so you could agree more the fact they are actually right,
and you are still wrong no matter what,
YES, YOU ARE STILL WRONG

stay away from them,
they are extremely dangerous people!
you will get nothing from them,
but just a sad miserable life

No Dreams

sometimes, i really hate myself for being me,
no dreams, motivations, and passion in life,
compare no different to those people who are lost,
still searching high and low for the bright dream light

having a heart no bigger than a mouse,
always too afraid to take a big steps,
afraid of this fast moving outside world,
afraid of falling from the mistakes i make

all i know what to do,
just to hide inside this old shell,
too afraid the risk to take,
this is why i achieve nothing

dear sky

i am now sitting at my work desk,
staring outside the gloomy sky,
it feels like the sky is going to cry,
these days it had been crying a lot,
but it just won't cry this time, its holding back,
it just stay as gloomy as it can,
dear sky, are you having the same feeling as i do?
are you trying to be strong this time?

paper, notes, work, sketches, stationary,
scattered all over my desk,
here am i, trying to hold on to my pencil,
ready to sketch something out,
but nothing came up,
just the word 'loneliness' in my mind

i don't know what has come into my mind,
was i am afraid of the dark?
or was i am afraid of saying goodbye?

Lazy Blogger

so many things yet to say, but lazy to write,
i got so many stories wanna tell, but
LAZY or BUSY, apala ni lah,
ish ish, i wonder why am i so lazy to blog,
shame shame, malu malu,
i always can't never maintain this blog lah,
must be my blog feng sui not good, haha

Sem break finally

i am herreeeeeeeeee!!
so, what does that mean to you?
yes yes, finally my sem break is here!!
i am going to throw away all my fucking work,
and never wanna see them again,
and i don't fucking care about on art or design,
fuck that no life tiring course, imma gonna live my life now,
so what if my 4 clients from each subject hates my idea,
ask them fuck off, they're blind, especially my lecturers too,
you people sucks! :D

miserable

To be honest, I'm really tired on what am i doing, it seems i had lose interest and passion in arts & design ady, i'm feeling really miserable and no longer happy drawing & designing like i used to, every time it's always too many assignments to rush and too little time to finish, who's problem? It's me or TOA's problem? I want to produce nice work, but it seems TOA stopped me, 'you' are always talking about time and money only! What about the passion? So many people are quiting 'you' because 'you' only just want quantity and not quality! Shame on you TOA! We are not wonder people! F it! ):

Sem break ended

my sem break ended already,

i am back on my busy life again,

it is just only the beginning of the week,

i am dying half way already,

guess this blog is gonna die any time,

i will see if i got any free time to blog,

or if i should say to my blog -

"bye bye blog and see you next sem break"

short post

actually i wanted to blog on many stuffs,

but lately i am kinda occupied doing on others,

partly the reason was my sem break is gonna finish,

so i have to really enjoy kau kau first,

then blog later lah, sorry, hahaha

i lately went to melacca,

and did nice shopping,

i was planing to blog about it just now,

somehow i changed my mind,

as you all know mother's day is coming soon right?

i had planed to do something for my mama,

she doesn't like gifts, so i had to make it special,

so i am saving time for blogging,

i going to use my art skills to make a nice family portrait instead,

gonna edit the photo kau kau, then frame it nicely,

hope i don't fail lah (what? i am doubting myself?)

don't forget to make your mama happy ya,

not just on mother's day only, EVERYDAY,

ok ok, end of post :D

Illogical!

today, something very weird happened,

till now we can't find any logical explanations on it,

everyone here in my house had became a detective,

in order to solve a mystery case that is unbelievable to happen,

let see if you can help me and my mom to find the answer towards it

my mom owns a very old car which aged more than 20 years ago,

she would not sell it no matter how old it is, 

and how my much my dad convince her,

she claims to love her car a lot, saying it's antique and her baby too,

what i know, the car was pretty rundown, but usable lah

when my sem break started, she stop using her car,

she just left it there without driving it for a long time,

she claims to park it at the parking slot A since 16 April,

ever since then, she didn't touch it, 

she just used my car to go for work then

till today then, when my dad, mom and i went out for lunch,

my mom suddenly shouted in the car,

she realized her car was missing at slot A!!

my dad panicked and made a sharp u-turn back to check,

her car was really missing, slot A parking was empty,

then my dad drive on, we found her car parked at the other side, slot Z

don't think the problem is over, nobody claim to touch her car,

my dad said he never touch the car at all, since he got his own car,

my brother too, he got his new car, why touch my mom's old car,

for i, i don't know how to drive manual car, so obviously it's not me,

she then never touch the car too,

someone had moved the car, but we don't know who!

my mom then panicked, thought she might had dropped her car keys,

we rushed back home and checked it was at home,

then we went to checked the car,

the car was locked and still in good condition,

she still can't find any explanation how her car got to slot Z,

we then checked how the car was parked, 

she claimed she don't parked like that, 

she hates the car touches the yellow line

we still can't come into a good conclusion to end this,

my mom can't stop thinking why was her car moved,

she just got on the car and drove back to slot A,

suddenly she hurried back to the house,

she scared me, she found out something,

told me another weird thing happened,

which was impossible for me to believe

my mom claimed her car was hacked!!

she checked the petrol meter, it was full!!

she went to ransack drawers for petrol receipts,

she checked the last time she pump petrol was on 16 April,

she remembered she only pump up to half tank,

now it's full?! more than half tank?!

where the hell does all the other half petrol came from?!

2nd prove,

she checked her car mileage,

it was 133 miles!!!!!!

that's a total of 214 km!!!

she never used her old car to drive so much,

cause the car was very very fragile,

before that, she only use it to go for work, at kelana jaya only,

for long distance, she always use my car,

this come a very strong explanation - someone had been using my mom's car,

seriously WTF?

all along someone was using her car,

and we didn't notice it till now?

but i still can't find a logical explanation on a point,

i don't know whether the person is actually stupid or what,

i also don't know how he actually gets to start the engine,

why he was so stupid that he doesn't just steal the car,

and why he was so stupid to help us to refill back the petrol?

this is so damn freaking weird!!

does this mean this idiot guy ,

had been using my mom's car to travel to the places he wanted,

and drove the car back to where it was lastly parked and refill back the petrol,

but this time he was unlucky slot A was occupied,

he had no choice to park at other places,

and hope we didn't realize it??

i just can't stop thinking why,who,what, how!!!

this is seriously crazy and illogical,

WTF WTF WTF?! THINKING SKILLS?!

we still can't confirm whether what we assumed was correct or not,

but this is the closest impossible logical explanation we can get,

does anyone of you can think what's is actually going on?

please help and tell me what should we do?

we can't park my mom's car in the house anymore,

cause we can only park 2 cars, which is for the new cars,

we are afraid 1 day the person would really steal the car,

OMG! this is so SHIT!

Mad dog lah!

OMGOOOOOOSSSHH!! 

i am so bloody freaking mad now!!!

my beautiful expensive Paul Frank t-shirt gone!!!!

when i went to kitchen to wash the dishes,

i saw a red cloth beside my dog sleeping,

suddenly i kept thinking the cloth looked like my new t-shirt,

i told myself it's impossible,

it's all torn up to pieces and holes everywhere,

i said nah, maybe it's some old cloth my mom gave my dog to chew

well, i don't know why i got a strong feeling it is,

in the end i decided to snatch it from her,

speechless speechless speechless,

i screamed like nobody business,

holding my t-shirt, shouting at my stupid dog,

it is indeed my new Paul Frank t-shirt!!!

i only wore it once lah!!!!!!

ok ok, this is the first time ever i hit animals,

i can't control myself, i went to smack her head and ass,

she was so scared and she went to hide inside the toilet,

she did try to show the dog eyes,

but this time it won't work,

she had really crossed the line this time!!

till now she don't dare to come out from the toilet,

whenever she sees me, she will hide,

but trust me, after today, means tomorrow,

she will forget it all and do it again

i really had enough with this dog,

because my mom pitied her so much and decide to keep her,

according to those specialist, this mad dog must put to sleep and die,

her brain got damaged ever since she got a high fever that day,

or else it can harm people and cause trouble

you have no idea how many times my family got bitten by her,

my mom and dad always have to endure the pain to take care of her,

holes and scars are all over my mom's body,

this dog is so hyper till she can't control herself,

you also have no idea how many things she had destroyed,

newspaper, books, clothes, panties, socks, plants, especially my heels and slippers!!!! 

seriously, i am really scared of her, 

there's one time she was so high, she bit my leg and won't let go,

she kept pulling and tried to make me fall, she was too strong,

i grabbed on something and kept myself from falling or else i will die,

then after that she jumped over me and bite my arms and hands,

her teeth sinked on my flesh, i tried to pull my hand away, but it was so painful,

i cried in pain and reached out for help from my parents,

my mom quickly ran out with a weapon and tied her down

holes and scars are all over my arms, hands and legs,

the bleeding won't stop,

i know i had to wash it away, it hurts so much,

my dad went to teach her a lesson,

but it doesn't work, she is a crazy mad dog after all,

the next day, back to the normal crazy mad dog routine,

i seriously don't understand why my mom loves her so much,

and even spoil her with many things,

whenever i got hurt by the dog, my mom always say never mind,

just like that? nothing? 

aiyoh! i am so mad lah!

sakit hatiku to see my expensive t-shirt gone like that,

i want to kill her and cook curry dog later,

or export her to China,

arrggggghhhh

Ultra Wide & Slim Kumagin

opps, forget to tell you guys what lomo camera did i ordered,

i bought the Ultra Wide & Slim Camera series,

i faced so much dilemma on what colour to actually buy,

they come with 7 colours so far,

black, white, blue, pink, yellow, silver and gold,

at first i wanted the white, then pink, then silver, then gold and etc etc,

finally i came down a decision i want the silver one,

it's so shiny,

ooooooo

the silver one it's call UWS Kumagin,

it came out with the gold one, UWS Harikin,

both of these babies are limited edition!!

only available 2000 units in the world leh,

wah, so amazing, can't wait to own 1 of them

i don't deny gold one is damn nice,

but they are temporary out of stock,

it seems many people prefer the gold instead the silver one,

i read this blog about this girl wanted to own a lomo camera too,

at first she wanted the silver one badly,

after seeing the actual silver one, she didn't like it,

she went to purchase the gold one instead,

what the hell? she is trying to change my mind on the silver one,

can't blame her lah, the gold one is really nice

don't believe? see for yourself lah then, nah

actually i don't mind having the silver one lah,

i kind of like it because it got a small bear picture at the end there,

and the name of the camera - Kumagin

remember, kuma means bear in japanese,

then Kumagin means silver bear,

eeeeeee, bear camera!

although the colour silver is like so normal,

but it's so shiny, it's enough to be special lah

plus it's bear edition leh,

lol, somebody slap me

could not find any nice photo for the actual silver one, sorry

yesterday surprisingly i get to know my guy friend,

who actually owns the UWS Kumagin, 

he is so blur! he didn't even know his lomo is call Kumagin,

he told me he got a limited edition lomo camera,

and the colour was very shiny because it was silver,

*tink tink* i immediately know which lomo he was talking about,

then he told me "my lomo so cute leh, cause got 1 lion head at the end there",

i gave him an expression "lion? LION?! LION?!! ARE YOU SURE?! NOT BEAR??!"

he stunned for awhile, now thinking hardly whether to answer lion or bear,

hahahahahahaha

well, to confirm whether he own the UWS Kumagin or not,

i asked him is his lomo the UWS series,

he nodded and said yayayayayayayayayaya,

then i added, silver? and he replied yayayayayaya,

i whack his head, told him BEAR LAH

i also asked him how was the camera,

he answer "aiyah, i don't know why i feel so gay whenever i use this camera, so i didn't get to use it in the end and gave it to my sister"

WTF?

he gave me this ^.^

i gave him this =_=

good job, i very speechless

Undersea experience

haha,

you guys must be thinking i am one SIAO ZHA PO,

but i am just bored,

i went and sort out my photo album,

i found this album,

photos where i took,

during my visit to Aquaria in KLCC last year,

it is really a nice experience,

where you can see all kinds of different amazing creatures the world got

hey, it's not easy to take photos of those fishes,

they just kept swimming around,

so, in the end,

i just select those nice photos to edit,

if you wanna see more nice amazing creatures,

go Aquaria KLCC and see for yourself ya

bloop bloop bloop bloop

let me take you to a wonderful sight seeing undersea

bloop bloop

you like seahorse? they got plenty of them there

this red creature there is actually very tiny, i had to zoom in so much to capture it

sea urchins, the blue dots that is glowing is amazing!

this is my favourite shot of all -the jellyfishes

i am amaze that i get to see this fossil creature there, didn't expect it

this fish is so WTF HUGE i tell you

i seriously love this shot too!

you should see this fishes for your own eyes, they are crazily HUGE!

i never see this kind of turtle before, except in cartoons about sea monster, lol

electric eel- the sign written there told me that 1 touch could cost your life, amazing!

amazing isn't it?

i love fish,

they taste yummy too,

hehe

Crazy lomo fever

since i am so free, i went to the net,

and did a lot of research about lomo cameras,

there's really a lot of different types,

it's all depends what kind of effect you want to have it

after browsing through the net,

one lomo camera caught my heart!

it's cheap, cute, nice and etc etc,

a good start for lomo beginners like me, i guess?

darn it!

screw my friend lah,

if she doesn't tell me, 

show me, 

let me hold it, 

touch it, 

play it,

i won't be such a lomo freak like now,

see, i found another source for me to waste money already,

i am so broke now!

i can't even afford to buy a nice attire for me to wear anymore,

i look so mak cik! 

and what happen to my DSLR case?

seriously WTF lah

conclusion after all the crap,

i browse browse and click click and in the end,

*toot*

*toot*

*toot*

 i went to order it,

aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!

shame on me!!!

Can't sleep

i can't sleep,

so i select some photos from my album, 

and edited some photos into those lomography style,

all this photos are taken during my vacation in Cameron Highlands,

tell me it's pretty ya,

enjoy (:

Money not enough

phew, i just got back a day trip from kl,

i really hate that place, it's so scary,

the people,

environment,

traffic,

shops,

eeeee, all very scary!

i will never go down to kl unless i wanted to,

the purpose for today is to go look for a nice price for my DSLR,

ok ok,

to make it clear,

i am not into DSLR, i am force to have it,

here's the story, blah blah blah,

starting by next sem, i going to have photography class,

everyone is require to own a DSLR,

seriously WTF

can i just use my phone camera or my pink digital camera instead?

DSLR banyak expensive lah,

can buy iphone ady

at first i wanted to buy the cheapest one,

but my stupid friend keep on telling me no use,

go attack me with lecturer's preference,

later buy not what he wants seriously can go bang wall,

say must go buy the Canon 550D or Nikon 90D,

because everyone is buying it,

which both at least cost around RM3,000++,

SIAO!

i don't want DSLR! i don't want DSLR!

i want lomo camera! i want lomo camera!

i willing to save money to buy lomo cameras and the films lah,

how can i afford a DSLR which i am not interested in,

lomography is so pretty...

pretty pretty 

if you don't know what is lomo camera is, 

fast fast go google it!

aiyah, i so dilemma now,

i even have to spend money on my wacom tablet for my next sem,

if you also don't know what is wacom tablet, google it too,

cost me a bomb also

I WANT LOMO CAMERA!

so tell me tell me,

should i buy the expensive or the cheaper DSLR?

i don't know what if i start holding the DSLR,

i will get attached by it,

i will blame myself so much till can even kill myself,

for not buying a nice one in the 1st place,

but who knows i hate DSLR that much at that time,

and decide not to touch it anymore after my photography lessons are over

I WANT LOMO CAMERA!

if i buy cheap one,

i will not reach my lecturer's requirement,

equals i had bought something totally useless

or maybe i should not care about it,

all DSLR are the same right? RIGHT?

snap snap, ok, there you go, you have your nice photos 

I WANT LOMO CAMERA!

my dad really beh syok already,

for spending so much stuff on my art course,

aaaahhhhhhhh!!

i need money!!

DEAR GOD!!!! 

please rain money now!!!!!

nah, show you some lomography that i found from flickr,

all photos taken by slimmer jimmer

and etc and etc,

too many to show,

fascinating photography eh?

New header for me blog!

come on come on, tell me it's pretty?

blah, if you're still that blur that you don't know what am i crapping,

i am talking about the new header that i just did for my blog,

now, tell me it's pretty?

i gonna whoosh your head if you don't

i currently having my sem break, 

so yes, i am very free now, 

and yes,  i can finally bring my blog back to life 

yay, alive again

to be honest, i am bored!

i still haven't get use to be so that free,

i mean NO assignments anymore, 

back then, my everyday life is just doing assignments,

i miss doing assignments,

shit, slap me

shame on me!

now, i am just blank 

blank

blank

blank

blank

i going to find something to do now,

bye bye

Stay strong

I don't know..

somehow I am feeling a bit sad or down..

I begin to slowly to isolate myself from other people,

wanna escape to a far far away place from here..

If I could only go back time,

I wanna change and fix everything that I just left it there before..

I thought this feelings would just go by after quite some time,

but I was wrong..

it came back and haunt me again..

NO! NO! NO!

I must stay strong!

*knocks head*

Happy Happy to all

Happy Chinese Meow Meow Rawr Rawr New Year to all!

(ang pau gimme gimme!)

and

Happy Valentine Day to all my friends who are coupled!

(valentine gift gimme gimmei!)

and

Happy Friendship Day to my friends!

(friendship forever!)

and

Happy Single Awareness Day to all my single friends!

(fast fast find someone! :p)

Hope all you guys are having a great time! Yay! (: