Eating PARADISE

Yesterday I was back from Penang. I went to Penang was because to attend my cousin's wedding dinner. What to say about it, the food taste so-so and I was freaking bored during the dinner because I got nobody to talk to. (Note: I am like the 2nd youngest cousin in my dad's side whole family and all my cousins are all age above 30.) So you should likely understand why am I really bored during the dinner. It's always been like that. No conversation to talk about. Just I stare you, you stare me; I shy shy, you shy shy; I eat eat, you eat eat. Hmmph, generation gap.

Well, overall I really enjoy the trip in Penang. What me and my family did was eat sleep eat sleep during Penang. GGAAHH!! EATING!!! It's like I've been eating for 24 hours! We ordered Char Kueh Teow, Prawn Mee, Laksa, Popiah, Cendol, Rojak, Lobak  and many many in each every of our meal. We had been eating none stop! Don't forget the ice-cream too! Yum yum.. I still can taste their Char Kueh Teow.. Tasty.. AHHH! WHY ISN'T THERE A NICE CHAR KUEH TEOW HERE IN PJ! *smack head*

Surprisingly, my aunt brought us to try the real authentic Penang food. Not those that will charge you expensively and taste as terrible that you normally could get here. Haha. No offense, sorry for insulting PJ's food. If you're planing on going to Penang, you must go and have lunch at the Batu Lanchang food court. Their food is so cheap and tasty! RM2.50 for the food and RM0.70 for most drinks! AHHH! PARADISE!! *drooling* Then, for dinner, I went to thr restaurant called Coconut Palm. New place. Their food is so darn nice. No kidding. I still miss their food. *drooling*

Talking about eating. There's a consequences I need to face. I gained weight. Haha. I hardly can fit most of my pants now. Haha. My mom got shocked when I showed her I can't fit in my pants and the spare tyre was amazing. Haha. Then my dad told me he could not imagine if they left me in Penang for 1 week. Oh! SOB SOB.

Cruise trip

Tomorrow will be the day where I am going for a holiday cruise on the Royal Caribbean ship with my TOA friends for 6 days and 5 nights. Sadly, there will be only 4 of us going which is thanks to the strict rules that the ship imposed on. To have 1 room, you must have at least 1 person must be 21 years old or above. So far, we got 1 above 21 years old only. I hope nothing goes wrong. I just can't help myself thinking there may be something bad happening to me since suddenly lately all the bad stuffs just love to find me. I am afraid I won't get to really enjoy myself. Damn, I am thinking negatively again.. *knock my head* Shoo shoo, go away bad stuffs!

This cruise will be landing on 3 places if I am not mistaken, Penang, Phuket and Singapore. You know what, I am now kind of regret on going to this cruise. It is because it is so expensive. That day when I agreed to this trip is because I was not thinking rational due to the problems I am facing. I was thinking that I can take this opportunity to leave everything behind for awhile and take a deep breath. So, ended up I agreed going without thinking twice. But, some of my friends said to me that I still deserve it to go refresh myself and should go have fun. I really want to use this chance to make myself to start breathing again.. I had been suffocating for too long.. I want all of them to leave me alone.. Well, hope everything is going to be ok and I get to enjoy myself to the fullest. *knock my head* Stop worrying. I will!

Because,

 I really love the sea so much... 

So do you right..? 

Keep holding on

朋友們，我已沒事了

雖然在這几天里面我的心情好差

很容易生氣，很愛哭，對小事很敏感，也很容易受傷

因為最近太多事情發生

我一直在那邊忍受

一直假裝

一直當沒事發生

一直在里面受傷

其實，我累了。。

但，

我相信有一天，我對自己說

會過的。。

不用但心，我會好好的

還有還有，

謝謝你們的關心

對不起還讓你們擔心

其實，

我看了你們的 comments

還有一些有在 msn 和 sms 來安慰我

讓我知道我有那麼多好的朋友還那麼關心我

真的真的很開心

謝謝。。

我愛死你們了！

哈哈

（：

P/S：對不起，我知道我寫華語很差。但我很努力在再學我的華語。我現在已忘了很多要怎麼會讀和寫用華語了。 我當時很討厭學華語，因為我覺得太複雜。現在很後悔沒把我的華語好好的學， 所以我現在要把這個好機會再學好它。請你們多多指教喔！

悲傷的結束

我好痛苦。。好難受。。好難呼吸。。 好想哭。。 好想死。。

夠了。。 我的心受不了。。

我已不知道要這麼了。。

為什麼會是因為他？

我的心壞了？掉了？

這是一個愛情故事嗎？或這只是一場梦？

到最後要結束了，

他。。對我說：

“錯的時間遇上對的人”

天上的您啊，哪是對嗎？哪是都是您所有讓您安排出來的，不是嗎？

是您安排我們一起相遇嗎？

是您安排我們有這樣的感情嗎？

哪，您為什麼到最後要安排這樣的結束？

您要我們要掉多少淚才會讓您滿意？

難到是您一時誤了。。

或者，

難到這個故事已早就給您安排有這個悲傷的結束了。。

風，

只有您能幫這個故事好好的把它結束了

請您把這個不該在這里的感情帶走好嗎？

把我和他的事忘掉好嗎？

再見。。

Rainy days

Ah. It's been raining a lot lately. It's making me kinda feeling blue. There's nothing you can do outside, but just stay at home. The sky is dark, feet always get wet and raindrops always got on my head. There, I was sitting beside the window hugging my big size rilakkuma plush, drinking hot tea keeping my hands warm. 

By looking outside the window, raindrops were pouring and you see people running around trying to get cover. And there, my flash back started. I remembered some of the fun times I had during rainy days. I remembered how I used to run with my friends to take cover from the rain. We run as fast as we can. By the time we reached a place, all of us were soaking wet. We looked at each other's messy and wet conditions, and we laughed how horrible we looked. Those were the times. (:

Looking back at the window, outside you see people walking around the street holding different kinds and colours of umbrella. There's big, small, white, orange, yellow, blue, purple and rainbow colours. I actually realized I was starting to observe the minor things that I never done before. It's kinda weird but fun to realize that you are able to get to see some simple wonderful sight that you only get to see during rainy days. Well, think at the positive side, rainy days are sometimes not that awful after all. 

My umbrella colour? Mine is pink. I finally got to use it. Hehe.

What's yours?

Misunderstanding

I hope I can explain all this misunderstanding to you. But, I just can't. 

被傷害最深的人就是我了。。。

嗚嗚嗚嗚。。。

我給人家討厭了。。。

Rilakkuma!

Here, I managed to find some cute picture of the Rilakkuma family. Aren't they cute? I wish I could own all the collection of them. They are so hard to find in Malaysia. Screw Malaysia! But in Japan, they got plenty of them. Last year I went there and found a lot of them and I am so stupid I didn't buy a lot back. I just bought some cause they are so expensive! REGRETTED! Ahhh... I hope I can find more of them in Malaysia. If anyone of you guys manage to spot them, tell me ASAP! Hehe. I seriously love them a lot. 

I got a friend who is studying in Japan currently. I wish he could help me buy some back! But, pai seh leh. He told me he will try to find them and send back to me. Don't know whether it's true a not. Can't be that happy yet. Hope it will be true. (:

I love you Rilakkuma a lot~♥

Untitled

I am now blogging, with my eyes really swollen. I can't longer control any of this tears falling. I just witnessed the unfair, suffering and death fall upon on a poor little creature. Part of pieces of my heart is already empty, broken, smashed and destroyed. I don't know why am I hurting and sad as I only knew him for 2 days...

Whenever my friends showed me of their dog's photos, I would only say something like 'Yeap, cute.' and would tell them I have no feel over dogs no matter whether they are cute or not. Well, that's because I always prefer cats. So, whenever I see dogs, no response. You can see how I actually treated my mom's dog, same, no response. 

Recently, 2 days ago, my mom told me she gave food and water to a white stray puppy wandering around just opposite of my house. She said she pity the puppy because it had been abused as many scars appeared around the body parts. And obviously, it was abandoned. At 1st, I wasn't really interested on the puppy and just gave her the 'Oh, poor thing.' response.

Later in the evening, I was doing my figure sketching, my mom called out to me and told me the puppy appeared. So I went to peeped it from my window. I went stalking it for 5 minutes, then went back doing my work. After few minutes later, I don't know why I automatically went to look at it. And I keep on repeating the same thing till I don't have the time to finish my work in time. 

My mom said she liked the puppy so much because he is really cute, seriously. The 1st time I approached it closely, I was so scared because of it's scar all over the body makes it look like it has skin disease. My mom went to gave it food and water again and this time the puppy approached my mom and he wants my mom to pat him. My mom gave him the pat on the head, he wagged his tail, he was so happy like a baby. OMG, he caught my heart!

Sometimes, I would look outside to check whether he would be ok. I sometime sees some kind people would leave a bowl of food and water for him also. And he showed the face that he was so happy. Soon, my mom was thinking of adopting it. But considering I already got 1 dog in the house, my mom can't decide. Then, out of a blue, I told my mom I think we better quickly adopt him and bring him to the house cause I got the feeling that today the crazy gang stray dogs will bully him. My mom answered me 'Don't worry, he is a survivor! He will be ok.' 

After dinner, me and my parents went to see the puppy again. He was so happy to see us. My parents patted him. And he went to the place where my mom left him food and water, eating and drinking as it is like he is trying to show us he is very happy and thankful. Then, when my parents decided to go back home, it followed into the house! I got so excited and went outside. But, my parents shoo it away back to place where he wander. I scold my mom and asked why, and she answered me 'I don't want it to get run down by a car.'. 

So, that was the last time I am going to see him wagging his tail. I was at my laptop chatting with my friends, then I heard bunch of dogs sound and him screaming. I rushed outside to see, I saw 1 gang of stray dogs were bullying it. The dogs were bitting him. Being afraid, I stunned for awhile and went upstairs and cry for my parents to help to safe him. The screaming was so loud and scary. By the time my parents reach to him, it was too late.

I stood there, looking at him lying on the floor with a pile of blood. He wasn't really dead yet. He was suffering. Struggling to be alive. When my mom patted him on the head, I saw him moved slowly and he was actually trying to wag his tail. At that moment, I can't hold back my tears anymore. I was crying beside the road looking at him suffering. Why is he so stupid! That isn't the time to be happy and thankful! My heart is aching...

After a moments later, he was gone. My parents wrapped him up and drove to a place to burry him. Meanwhile, me and YP had to clean up the pool of blood. I was crying, holding the heavy pile of water, crossing the street, trying to splash the flesh and blood. I had no strength anymore to carry cause I was crying my heart out in the middle of the street. 

Why is God so darn unfair! 1st he was abandon, 2nd he was abused, and now he is bitten to death?! WHAT NOW?! WHAT NOW?! WHY?! Tell me why are you doing this! He had suffered so much! Enough! Stop it! Why does he have to die... If my mom would listen to me, he would not die! If I would give myself courage to stand up for him earlier, he would not die! If I had trusted my feelings, he would not die! If I don't listen my mom in the 1st place, it would not die! It's all my fault... It's all my fault...

He is such a stupid and silly puppy.. It seems he didn't care about anything about his tragic life that had happened to him.. No matter what, he always gave us the look showing he is really happy and thankful... 

By the time I start to cry, I have finally realize I am already attached to him...

I just can't stop crying anymore...

Scattered

My emotions and feelings are all scattered everywhere. The bottle that I had tried to store everything away can't longer fit anymore. I had no idea what had I just filled so much in it and it finally cracked and everything it's out. I am losing it. I feel confuse, hurt, stress, angry, pathetic, scared, pain, jealous, tired, happy, sad, loving, hatred, attachment and everything at the same time. I can't handle all this and I am hurting myself and hurting other people I cared. I am such a terrible person and am tired to be this person already. 

I am trying so hard to collect back every piece of my emotions and feelings bit by bit. Nobody seems to understand what am I going through. They can't hear I am trying to reach for help. All they do is sticking a 'pathetic emo person' sign at my forehead or blacklisted me as 'pathetic emo person' in their listed and ignore me. But, I forgive them. It's my problem after all..

This time, I need a larger bottle. 

Fate

Fate brought us together, and then left me behind. 

We laugh and cry and then we say good bye. 

This is fate and I must accept it.

Paradise

OMG. These few days I am drowned with paradise. To prevent me for thinking so many emo things, my Rilakkuma thought out some of my favourite things to keep me occupied. Firstly, he took out my DS console to me and asked me to play. (But, actually he was playing but caught red handed curi curi took my DS and play.) So I did, and I am being so addicted to it now. (Then, he showed me his unhappy face cause he cannot play his Rilakkuma game anymore.) 

Then, he also helped me to download so many love love with so many leng chai anime for me to watch. I am watching it none stop now. Plus, he also took me to go buy so many comic books of love love with also a lot of leng chai. Kyaaaaaa~ So romantic! So leng chai! So leng lui! I am drowning! Haha. 

It's been a long time I didn't do all of this already. Because I was being always occupied with my workloads and emotions. I was glad that he was able to bring out all these little things that was able to make me happy again. 

Rilakkuma in action!

Just recent, my favourite cute Rilakkuma just gave me his puri puri paw attack on my head and is taking after my blog since I am blogging a lot of emo shits these days. He say he can't stand me being too emo all the time. He is going to shoo me away and he is in charge with my blog now. He say he wants to spread his happiness to everyone. He say he is going to use his cuteness to make people happy.

Kyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaa~ OMG OMG! I can't stand it! Isn't he cute? I LOVE RILAKKUMA! He makes me happy! (:

Weirdo?

Am I weird? Am I the odd one? Am I the last person that you can think of? Am I different than other people? Sometimes I tried so hard being someone I don't know anymore. I tried to be perfect. I tried to be someone perfectly so that people would care and love me. I want people to realize me. Deep inside me, I want people's attention. But, I am trying so hard to hide everything away. It's so unfair. Am I not good enough? Why can others can have the little things I want? But yet they still want more? Can't you see I am trying so hard to let others to notice and see me? Why can't I be like you? Why can't I be like you who have flaws? Why can't I be like you where everyone firstly think about you? Why can't I be like you where everyone love and care about you? 

Thanks to 'someone'. 'YOU' are the stupid person who made me become someone I don't like. 'YOU' who made me this way. 'YOU' are the one who took away my happiness. 'YOU' made me miserable. I hate 'YOU'. 'YOU' made and forced me to make myself to become like this. If isn't because of you, I won't turn to be this way! I still can't forget what you had done to me! 'YOU' took my life away! SCREW YOU! *sob*

Penang

Choo choo! Here I come Penang! Tomorrow afternoon at 2.30pm I am taking off to Penang by train! Choo chooooo! Finally, a trip for me to take a deep breath and forget about every stupid emo feelings going around my head. Yay!

I will be going with my TOA friends and one of them will be our tour guide as he is from there. He promised to bring us to amazing places and of course the beach too. Yay! My friends told me that shopping in Penang is so much cheaper than here. So, obviously I am so so going shopping! Hehe. Paul Frank! I am going there to get you! Haha. I am not so into food, so, haha, but, why not? Since I will be in Penang, no harm to go and try nice food there. Any recommendation of nice food to try out there?

To my blog readers, since I am going to Penang, is there anything you want me to buy? But, I can't promise you that I am able to buy it. Sms me or call me before Friday ya?

I am really looking forward to this trip, I hope I really can enjoy to the fullest. I deserve this break since after all the hectic course I've gone through. So, please, I hope nothing will screw this moment. Yay! Penang. (:

Friendship

Yesterday, it was the last day that we are going to be together. It's the day we went out to have fun together for the last time. Things may not go as the same way anymore. All my dear TOA friends and I, we are finally going our separate ways. 

Yesterday, after the outing, I went home and on my msn. I was surprise to see there's so many emo personal message post beside their nick. Especially my dear friend Elaine, she is going another different major than the rest of us. When I went to look at her blog, she sound really sad. I became sad after reading it. I thought I was the only one who went emo after reading it. Surprisedly, my other friends also went emo. By comforting her to make her feel better, they replied her. And, she cried. 

Oh god, that's the reason I hate good byes. It makes my eyes red and watery each time it happen. What a sad feeling. What another silly emotion..

Dear TOA friends especially to Elaine, what I can say now is that, there's sometime a moment you need to let go and say good bye. I had learn to let go many times. I know it hurts. But you can't forever hold on to something. Some friendship last and some don't, and we should be glad that we didn't fall into that 'don't last' category right? At least we are able to see each other in some other time although we are no long together. Friendship always remain in the heart. As long you promise you won't forget about it. Although all my TOA friends do not have my blog site, I am just using this blog write all this out how I feel to express myself. But, I really wish I could tell them that. 

This also goes to you all my dear DJ-ian and Taylorian friends. I shall always remember you all as my dearest friends in my heart. 

Jealousy

I don't understand. I don't understand why should I feel this way. Jealousy or envy is the most stupid emotion that people ever have. I don't know why God even bother to inserted this stupid emotion into us humans. I hate this feeling a lot. Take it away. It cause nothing but just misery. It leads you into darkness. It makes you feel like crying and mad at the same time every single moment. It make you yourself hurt a lot and it sometimes make people do stupid things such as hurting others. What a silly emotion.. 

Escape

Finally, my semester break is finally here. I know I suppose to feel happy or excited about it. But, I feel something is missing. Somehow this semester break is a painful one where I need to say good bye to everyone. I hate saying good bye. Screw the attachment that I had developed in these few months. 

*****

During this semester break, I wish I could escape to a place where there is nobody. If I have wings, I'll fly away, fly away from here. And I'll leave, leave everything behind. Just me alone at a place that I always dream of going to. A place where I can listen to the sound of the waves. A place where I can finally rest my mind. And please wash away my emotions and feelings. So I do not need to feel these stupid feelings anymore. 

Angel

Shhhh... Let me be your guardian angel... =)

Wish

Sometimes do you ever feel like wishing something? Something that are sometimes impossible to happen at that moment? People tend to do crazy things to get their wish to come true. You will see some people will try to chase a shooting star or send paper boats out to the sea.. 

Well, I am also one of those crazy people. What I did had been started since many years ago. I seriously don't know how I started this. Maybe I did this to make my self feel better? You know those wooden chopsticks that you need to break apart to use in every Sushi restaurant? Before I break them apart, I would wish for something. If you snap it perfectly, it means that your wish will come true. If you got a bad break result, your wish is likely to happen. 

What do you know? My wish do come true whenever I got a perfect one. This always happen to me. My wish really did came true. It is just a only small wish, but it is just enough to make me really happy. I don't know about you. Maybe you can try one today? Remember, you only get to try once at the moment. And if you got a bad break result, do not try for another one! You are wasting wood! Haha.. If your wish really come true after doing it, tell me about it. Hope all your wishes come true my dear friends.. This is just a little secret to share between you and me.. =)

Sad

Dear God, why do you have to let me feel like this... I can't handle this feelings anymore.. Why do you have to make me cry... Please take away my emotions... 

Clarins AD

Well, this is my 2nd AD poster of this semester. Spent few days to finish it. Isn't Ayumi Hamasaki pretty and sexy? I know it is not perfect but hope you guys love it. =)

Just Wanna Say

"The more I mixed with more people, the more I can feel my loneliness.."

My First AD

Hey hey hey! I am back! My Semester 1 break bye bye for quite long ady.. The stress, the tension, the competition, the unexplainable atmosphere are all back! Damn it.

Today, guess I am quite in a good mood to blog, although I got so many assignments to finish. I had suffered from high fever lately. So, the antibiotics are making my brain nerves to work slowly and worried less about everything. That's why, here am I, feeling quite relax, BLOGGING! Wow, good stuff good stuff. Hahaha.

So about my Semester 2, so far I can handle it, I guess? I hope so. Well, cut the crap! Just wanna show some of work I had done lately. I love it cause it is something to do with my advertising career next time. Maybe choosing advertising design for my major was not a bad idea after all.

I got great comments from my lecturer from this advertisement. He said "Good arrangement, great effort." Hmm.. Ok. I still have to a presentation for this. Wait till see whether this "Good" goes on after the presentation.

This advertisement is about promoting something weird that less people know about it. Well, me and my team mate choose cactus juice to do for our AD. Ever heard about it? For my other friends, some are doing about flavour straws, some about wearing bamboo if I am not mistaken.

Ta Da! My AD! Hope you guys love it too as the same with me. Especially the coupon part. The first time I send it to my team mate. She was shocked and she said it looked like a real AD.


I gonna have to present this thing on Tuesday. So before that, if there's any thing you think it's not right. Give me the comments! Thanks!

All right for now, back to assignments!

YAY

YES YES YES!

It's here! Finally! My Semester break is finally here! YAY!

Hahaha. I have been waiting for this for centuries. Finally I am free~ It is now time for me to update myself and facebook. But, I have been so lazy to do so. Maybe because I want to the things that I had already planed earlier first when I start my Semester break. My first plan is to play my PS2 game! Yay! But I had been playing the whole day lately. In the end, I am still bored staying at home.

Let me sit back and relax. Will update more updates soon. =p

OMG

"OMG! You looked so pale! Are you sure you are ok?"

"Wah! Are you ok? What time you slept last night?"

That's what my classmates always asked me whenever I step in the class. I am always in a bad condition. My hair is always a mess. My attire is so sloppy because I just simply grab anything that I can see in my closet and just wear it on. What to do? I am always working up till very late everyday. My semester 1 is going to end soon, that's why I am fully loaded with heavy final projects and exams. I can't hardly take a break. By the time I wake up, I will work none stop till the mid night till I finally go to sleep. During my sleeping time, I'll be lying on my bed thinking of designs and other things to do. Cause that's the only time I can think of it. Everything just suddenly come crashing down on me. So, that's the reason why I can't go out with my friends starting from last week. Both of my secondary and taylor collage friends tried to ask me out for a break. But, I disappointedly had to choose to not go. This is so unlikely to be me, because normally I always love to join my friends whenever there's an event. But I had no choice. I am so busy and I can't help it. I don't understand why TOA collage have to make students suffer like this. I am so looking forward to my semester break at 20th of April.

I always blog about negative things. Well, I also have some positive things happened to me. Remember my last post that I always complained how useless I think about myself? I didn't give up. I continue to work my ass off and it really paid off. I finally starting to shine. Not so shinning like a star yet. But just a dim. I really wish I can share what happened. But, I just don't have the time now. I will try to share next time I got the time ok? 

To my friends that tried to asked me out last week. I know starting from month I am going to reject most of the invitation to an event. But please don't give up asking me. At least I know you guys are still always there you support me. Haha. I sound so desperate. Well, one of the reason I can't get out that week is because of my computer graphic project. Super tough and time consuming project. I show you why. I have to trace or draw this character Yuna Ito out to make a concert poster. 

The original picture.

This is 30% of my work. I still haven't add any background yet. I tried to make it perfect and look alike, but, it takes a lot of time. I know it looks a bit 'cacat'. My lecturer said overall it's ok but the lips and eyes are not out-standing enough. My this subject lecturer requirement expectation is really high. I did a lot of background design for him and I still can't get what he wants. So, I need to work extra hard to please him. 

I really wish I can share some of my nice work done. But not now. Maybe during my semester break? 

SEMESTER BREAK PLEASE COME............

Saturday

Yay! :) It's Saturday again and I am loving it. Among the 7 days in a week, I always love Saturday the best. It is because it is the only day I get more rest, no tension, no stress and no worry day for me. I try to give myself a day where I can at least relax after the hectic life I am going through almost everyday. So, today after coming back from class, sat on the sofa and dropped dead.  I napped almost WHOLE day! I slept without any worries as I still got Sunday. I felt great and happy. Hehe. I have been sleeping everyday at around 3 am to 3.30 am trying to finish my work which it is always not 100% finished in the end. So imagine how tired am I. 

***

Before I start my Art course, I always thought I will be good in designing and bad in drawing. So, I choose Advertising Design for my major. When I start my Art course, my work is really terrible at the beginning. I tried very hard to draw but I always draw human like aliens and I draw still-life objects that it looked like it doesn't looked like an object. I was so disappointed. I thought I was no good in Arts too and I am good for nothing. But however, I tried to comfort my self that who knows I am good in design. 

Well, I was wrong. I hate designs? Yes, I do. I am bad in designing. Every time I was assigned with my Design class assignment, my work always got rejected or got critiqued till very bad. There's one home assignment, I had designed 50 designs and got all rejected. My eyes starts to become watery in class, cause I worked really hard on it . Only 2 person in my class got rejected. See how failure I am. I tired to re-designed another 20 which I was asked to, and in the end I got rejected again. But I can look into my lecturer face that she gave me mercy and she accepts one of the designs only. Then, my design lecturer gave another assignment again. I did around 52 designs and got rejected again!! And I am again 1 of the 2 person who got rejected again. Seriously, this prove I am a failure. She looked at me and said "Not good enough and it is not enough, and this is not I want. Please design again". I put my head down on the table, trying to be cool, holding back my feelings, then my friend Peggy come and comfort me and helped me which it made me feel a lot better. 

In the end, I did more designs and showed my lecturer again. She looked she was not happy with it AGAIN and did the mercy thing to me AGAIN and I am a failure AGAIN. Seriously, I had lost hope because I don't understand what am I good at anymore. :( 

But I always tell myself, "To become a great artist, must come with a great price to pay." Agree with me? 

♥♥
meow-chan

Hectic Life

Uuuh! What a hectic life I am going through. It's hard to breath. My spaces are too small. The world is going to fall on me soon. Ever since I had started my art course, I've been doing my assignments without getting any rest. I am not sleeping well and eating well. You can say that my life had really turned into a 'no life' position. No fun, but just work. Nowadays, I often skip my lunch and breakfast. Imagine how busy my life is. Everyday I always have to rush. Rush to eat, rush to classes, rush assignments, rush to buy art materials and it goes repeating the same routine everyday. That day I just suffered from a horrible gastric pain which caused me to cry in pain. I seriously don't want to experience that again. The pain is just too unbearable. I also had tried to cut short my naps or there is even no nap for me anymore. I am a person who really really loves to sleep and I can't survive without a nap sometimes. But, that was before. Now, taking a nap will really just give me more trouble - left with many unfinished work. Worse come to worse, first there's no nap for me anymore, secondly I am having too many sleepless nights! Everyday is always the same routine for me. Sleep late and wake up early. Oh my God! Save me! I can't feel the fun anymore... My hands are shaking due to too many drawings and my brain is in pain due to many designs. Give me a break! 

♥♥

meow-chan

I am back?!

Boo!


Did I scared you?


Yes, I am back!


You think so?


I am not so sure about my self either.


Maybe?

♥♥
meow-chan