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I am now blogging, with my eyes really swollen. I can't longer control any of this tears falling. I just witnessed the unfair, suffering and death fall upon on a poor little creature. Part of pieces of my heart is already empty, broken, smashed and destroyed. I don't know why am I hurting and sad as I only knew him for 2 days...

Whenever my friends showed me of their dog's photos, I would only say something like 'Yeap, cute.' and would tell them I have no feel over dogs no matter whether they are cute or not. Well, that's because I always prefer cats. So, whenever I see dogs, no response. You can see how I actually treated my mom's dog, same, no response. 

Recently, 2 days ago, my mom told me she gave food and water to a white stray puppy wandering around just opposite of my house. She said she pity the puppy because it had been abused as many scars appeared around the body parts. And obviously, it was abandoned. At 1st, I wasn't really interested on the puppy and just gave her the 'Oh, poor thing.' response.

Later in the evening, I was doing my figure sketching, my mom called out to me and told me the puppy appeared. So I went to peeped it from my window. I went stalking it for 5 minutes, then went back doing my work. After few minutes later, I don't know why I automatically went to look at it. And I keep on repeating the same thing till I don't have the time to finish my work in time. 

My mom said she liked the puppy so much because he is really cute, seriously. The 1st time I approached it closely, I was so scared because of it's scar all over the body makes it look like it has skin disease. My mom went to gave it food and water again and this time the puppy approached my mom and he wants my mom to pat him. My mom gave him the pat on the head, he wagged his tail, he was so happy like a baby. OMG, he caught my heart!

Sometimes, I would look outside to check whether he would be ok. I sometime sees some kind people would leave a bowl of food and water for him also. And he showed the face that he was so happy. Soon, my mom was thinking of adopting it. But considering I already got 1 dog in the house, my mom can't decide. Then, out of a blue, I told my mom I think we better quickly adopt him and bring him to the house cause I got the feeling that today the crazy gang stray dogs will bully him. My mom answered me 'Don't worry, he is a survivor! He will be ok.' 

After dinner, me and my parents went to see the puppy again. He was so happy to see us. My parents patted him. And he went to the place where my mom left him food and water, eating and drinking as it is like he is trying to show us he is very happy and thankful. Then, when my parents decided to go back home, it followed into the house! I got so excited and went outside. But, my parents shoo it away back to place where he wander. I scold my mom and asked why, and she answered me 'I don't want it to get run down by a car.'. 

So, that was the last time I am going to see him wagging his tail. I was at my laptop chatting with my friends, then I heard bunch of dogs sound and him screaming. I rushed outside to see, I saw 1 gang of stray dogs were bullying it. The dogs were bitting him. Being afraid, I stunned for awhile and went upstairs and cry for my parents to help to safe him. The screaming was so loud and scary. By the time my parents reach to him, it was too late.

I stood there, looking at him lying on the floor with a pile of blood. He wasn't really dead yet. He was suffering. Struggling to be alive. When my mom patted him on the head, I saw him moved slowly and he was actually trying to wag his tail. At that moment, I can't hold back my tears anymore. I was crying beside the road looking at him suffering. Why is he so stupid! That isn't the time to be happy and thankful! My heart is aching...

After a moments later, he was gone. My parents wrapped him up and drove to a place to burry him. Meanwhile, me and YP had to clean up the pool of blood. I was crying, holding the heavy pile of water, crossing the street, trying to splash the flesh and blood. I had no strength anymore to carry cause I was crying my heart out in the middle of the street. 

Why is God so darn unfair! 1st he was abandon, 2nd he was abused, and now he is bitten to death?! WHAT NOW?! WHAT NOW?! WHY?! Tell me why are you doing this! He had suffered so much! Enough! Stop it! Why does he have to die... If my mom would listen to me, he would not die! If I would give myself courage to stand up for him earlier, he would not die! If I had trusted my feelings, he would not die! If I don't listen my mom in the 1st place, it would not die! It's all my fault... It's all my fault...

He is such a stupid and silly puppy.. It seems he didn't care about anything about his tragic life that had happened to him.. No matter what, he always gave us the look showing he is really happy and thankful... 

By the time I start to cry, I have finally realize I am already attached to him...

I just can't stop crying anymore...