Scattered

My emotions and feelings are all scattered everywhere. The bottle that I had tried to store everything away can't longer fit anymore. I had no idea what had I just filled so much in it and it finally cracked and everything it's out. I am losing it. I feel confuse, hurt, stress, angry, pathetic, scared, pain, jealous, tired, happy, sad, loving, hatred, attachment and everything at the same time. I can't handle all this and I am hurting myself and hurting other people I cared. I am such a terrible person and am tired to be this person already. 

I am trying so hard to collect back every piece of my emotions and feelings bit by bit. Nobody seems to understand what am I going through. They can't hear I am trying to reach for help. All they do is sticking a 'pathetic emo person' sign at my forehead or blacklisted me as 'pathetic emo person' in their listed and ignore me. But, I forgive them. It's my problem after all..

This time, I need a larger bottle. 

Fate

Fate brought us together, and then left me behind. 

We laugh and cry and then we say good bye. 

This is fate and I must accept it.

Paradise

OMG. These few days I am drowned with paradise. To prevent me for thinking so many emo things, my Rilakkuma thought out some of my favourite things to keep me occupied. Firstly, he took out my DS console to me and asked me to play. (But, actually he was playing but caught red handed curi curi took my DS and play.) So I did, and I am being so addicted to it now. (Then, he showed me his unhappy face cause he cannot play his Rilakkuma game anymore.) 

Then, he also helped me to download so many love love with so many leng chai anime for me to watch. I am watching it none stop now. Plus, he also took me to go buy so many comic books of love love with also a lot of leng chai. Kyaaaaaa~ So romantic! So leng chai! So leng lui! I am drowning! Haha. 

It's been a long time I didn't do all of this already. Because I was being always occupied with my workloads and emotions. I was glad that he was able to bring out all these little things that was able to make me happy again. 

Rilakkuma in action!

Just recent, my favourite cute Rilakkuma just gave me his puri puri paw attack on my head and is taking after my blog since I am blogging a lot of emo shits these days. He say he can't stand me being too emo all the time. He is going to shoo me away and he is in charge with my blog now. He say he wants to spread his happiness to everyone. He say he is going to use his cuteness to make people happy.

Kyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaa~ OMG OMG! I can't stand it! Isn't he cute? I LOVE RILAKKUMA! He makes me happy! (:

Weirdo?

Am I weird? Am I the odd one? Am I the last person that you can think of? Am I different than other people? Sometimes I tried so hard being someone I don't know anymore. I tried to be perfect. I tried to be someone perfectly so that people would care and love me. I want people to realize me. Deep inside me, I want people's attention. But, I am trying so hard to hide everything away. It's so unfair. Am I not good enough? Why can others can have the little things I want? But yet they still want more? Can't you see I am trying so hard to let others to notice and see me? Why can't I be like you? Why can't I be like you who have flaws? Why can't I be like you where everyone firstly think about you? Why can't I be like you where everyone love and care about you? 

Thanks to 'someone'. 'YOU' are the stupid person who made me become someone I don't like. 'YOU' who made me this way. 'YOU' are the one who took away my happiness. 'YOU' made me miserable. I hate 'YOU'. 'YOU' made and forced me to make myself to become like this. If isn't because of you, I won't turn to be this way! I still can't forget what you had done to me! 'YOU' took my life away! SCREW YOU! *sob*

Penang

Choo choo! Here I come Penang! Tomorrow afternoon at 2.30pm I am taking off to Penang by train! Choo chooooo! Finally, a trip for me to take a deep breath and forget about every stupid emo feelings going around my head. Yay!

I will be going with my TOA friends and one of them will be our tour guide as he is from there. He promised to bring us to amazing places and of course the beach too. Yay! My friends told me that shopping in Penang is so much cheaper than here. So, obviously I am so so going shopping! Hehe. Paul Frank! I am going there to get you! Haha. I am not so into food, so, haha, but, why not? Since I will be in Penang, no harm to go and try nice food there. Any recommendation of nice food to try out there?

To my blog readers, since I am going to Penang, is there anything you want me to buy? But, I can't promise you that I am able to buy it. Sms me or call me before Friday ya?

I am really looking forward to this trip, I hope I really can enjoy to the fullest. I deserve this break since after all the hectic course I've gone through. So, please, I hope nothing will screw this moment. Yay! Penang. (:

Friendship

Yesterday, it was the last day that we are going to be together. It's the day we went out to have fun together for the last time. Things may not go as the same way anymore. All my dear TOA friends and I, we are finally going our separate ways. 

Yesterday, after the outing, I went home and on my msn. I was surprise to see there's so many emo personal message post beside their nick. Especially my dear friend Elaine, she is going another different major than the rest of us. When I went to look at her blog, she sound really sad. I became sad after reading it. I thought I was the only one who went emo after reading it. Surprisedly, my other friends also went emo. By comforting her to make her feel better, they replied her. And, she cried. 

Oh god, that's the reason I hate good byes. It makes my eyes red and watery each time it happen. What a sad feeling. What another silly emotion..

Dear TOA friends especially to Elaine, what I can say now is that, there's sometime a moment you need to let go and say good bye. I had learn to let go many times. I know it hurts. But you can't forever hold on to something. Some friendship last and some don't, and we should be glad that we didn't fall into that 'don't last' category right? At least we are able to see each other in some other time although we are no long together. Friendship always remain in the heart. As long you promise you won't forget about it. Although all my TOA friends do not have my blog site, I am just using this blog write all this out how I feel to express myself. But, I really wish I could tell them that. 

This also goes to you all my dear DJ-ian and Taylorian friends. I shall always remember you all as my dearest friends in my heart.