Weirdo?

Am I weird? Am I the odd one? Am I the last person that you can think of? Am I different than other people? Sometimes I tried so hard being someone I don't know anymore. I tried to be perfect. I tried to be someone perfectly so that people would care and love me. I want people to realize me. Deep inside me, I want people's attention. But, I am trying so hard to hide everything away. It's so unfair. Am I not good enough? Why can others can have the little things I want? But yet they still want more? Can't you see I am trying so hard to let others to notice and see me? Why can't I be like you? Why can't I be like you who have flaws? Why can't I be like you where everyone firstly think about you? Why can't I be like you where everyone love and care about you? 

Thanks to 'someone'. 'YOU' are the stupid person who made me become someone I don't like. 'YOU' who made me this way. 'YOU' are the one who took away my happiness. 'YOU' made me miserable. I hate 'YOU'. 'YOU' made and forced me to make myself to become like this. If isn't because of you, I won't turn to be this way! I still can't forget what you had done to me! 'YOU' took my life away! SCREW YOU! *sob*

Penang

Choo choo! Here I come Penang! Tomorrow afternoon at 2.30pm I am taking off to Penang by train! Choo chooooo! Finally, a trip for me to take a deep breath and forget about every stupid emo feelings going around my head. Yay!

I will be going with my TOA friends and one of them will be our tour guide as he is from there. He promised to bring us to amazing places and of course the beach too. Yay! My friends told me that shopping in Penang is so much cheaper than here. So, obviously I am so so going shopping! Hehe. Paul Frank! I am going there to get you! Haha. I am not so into food, so, haha, but, why not? Since I will be in Penang, no harm to go and try nice food there. Any recommendation of nice food to try out there?

To my blog readers, since I am going to Penang, is there anything you want me to buy? But, I can't promise you that I am able to buy it. Sms me or call me before Friday ya?

I am really looking forward to this trip, I hope I really can enjoy to the fullest. I deserve this break since after all the hectic course I've gone through. So, please, I hope nothing will screw this moment. Yay! Penang. (:

Friendship

Yesterday, it was the last day that we are going to be together. It's the day we went out to have fun together for the last time. Things may not go as the same way anymore. All my dear TOA friends and I, we are finally going our separate ways. 

Yesterday, after the outing, I went home and on my msn. I was surprise to see there's so many emo personal message post beside their nick. Especially my dear friend Elaine, she is going another different major than the rest of us. When I went to look at her blog, she sound really sad. I became sad after reading it. I thought I was the only one who went emo after reading it. Surprisedly, my other friends also went emo. By comforting her to make her feel better, they replied her. And, she cried. 

Oh god, that's the reason I hate good byes. It makes my eyes red and watery each time it happen. What a sad feeling. What another silly emotion..

Dear TOA friends especially to Elaine, what I can say now is that, there's sometime a moment you need to let go and say good bye. I had learn to let go many times. I know it hurts. But you can't forever hold on to something. Some friendship last and some don't, and we should be glad that we didn't fall into that 'don't last' category right? At least we are able to see each other in some other time although we are no long together. Friendship always remain in the heart. As long you promise you won't forget about it. Although all my TOA friends do not have my blog site, I am just using this blog write all this out how I feel to express myself. But, I really wish I could tell them that. 

This also goes to you all my dear DJ-ian and Taylorian friends. I shall always remember you all as my dearest friends in my heart. 

Jealousy

I don't understand. I don't understand why should I feel this way. Jealousy or envy is the most stupid emotion that people ever have. I don't know why God even bother to inserted this stupid emotion into us humans. I hate this feeling a lot. Take it away. It cause nothing but just misery. It leads you into darkness. It makes you feel like crying and mad at the same time every single moment. It make you yourself hurt a lot and it sometimes make people do stupid things such as hurting others. What a silly emotion.. 

Escape

Finally, my semester break is finally here. I know I suppose to feel happy or excited about it. But, I feel something is missing. Somehow this semester break is a painful one where I need to say good bye to everyone. I hate saying good bye. Screw the attachment that I had developed in these few months. 

*****

During this semester break, I wish I could escape to a place where there is nobody. If I have wings, I'll fly away, fly away from here. And I'll leave, leave everything behind. Just me alone at a place that I always dream of going to. A place where I can listen to the sound of the waves. A place where I can finally rest my mind. And please wash away my emotions and feelings. So I do not need to feel these stupid feelings anymore. 

Angel

Shhhh... Let me be your guardian angel... =)

Wish

Sometimes do you ever feel like wishing something? Something that are sometimes impossible to happen at that moment? People tend to do crazy things to get their wish to come true. You will see some people will try to chase a shooting star or send paper boats out to the sea.. 

Well, I am also one of those crazy people. What I did had been started since many years ago. I seriously don't know how I started this. Maybe I did this to make my self feel better? You know those wooden chopsticks that you need to break apart to use in every Sushi restaurant? Before I break them apart, I would wish for something. If you snap it perfectly, it means that your wish will come true. If you got a bad break result, your wish is likely to happen. 

What do you know? My wish do come true whenever I got a perfect one. This always happen to me. My wish really did came true. It is just a only small wish, but it is just enough to make me really happy. I don't know about you. Maybe you can try one today? Remember, you only get to try once at the moment. And if you got a bad break result, do not try for another one! You are wasting wood! Haha.. If your wish really come true after doing it, tell me about it. Hope all your wishes come true my dear friends.. This is just a little secret to share between you and me.. =)